Encounters of the Baby Kind

So Grandma and I took my daughter on her first trip to the mall. Everyone duly proclaimed her cute or beautiful. I'm biased, she's the cutest baby in the world. We were in a national chain store of the "stink 'em-smell 'em-good 'em" kind as I pushed the stroller past these two teenaged girls; they looked to be about 15 or 16. They saw me and did the "Awww! How cute!" thing, and then one asked, "How old?"
"Almost 12 weeks," I replied in a proud-mommy fashion. Then instead of the typical responses of more aw-ing or comments on how little she is (she seems big to me, but she was quite small when she was born), I received a funny look from the two girls--something akin to disgust. I stood there smiling bewilderedly, waiting, because I could sense there was something coming next. Then one commented about my size. Let me insert here that I didn't look very pregnant when I was pregnant, and when my little girl came out, there was no mistaking me to be pregnant any longer. If this is not your experience, I apologize--I had nothing to do with it. Anyway, the long and short of it is that the one girl was slightly miffed that after 11 weeks I looked like I do. She then proceeded to ask, "How'd you do it?" I said I didn't know. She then points to herself and says, "This is after 18 months." Uh, yeah, okay.
I felt rather awkward because I didn't even see that one coming. How could I have even guessed that the teenager shopping with her friend in the mall was a mother--of a toddler, no less? I casually ended the conversation and went to rejoin my mother-in-law.
I shouldn't be so naive. I grew up in a county which had the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state, so it's not something new. I suppose what surprised me most was the blase manner in which the girl engaged the conversation. Like two moms in the park talking while the kids play on the swings.
Okay, here's where the moral of the story comes. The pithy, witty summary of the encounter. Mine forgot to show up for this blog post. I'm proud of the girl for having the baby. Good for her! I'm sad that she got pregnant when she was so young. I'm in my 30s and find it difficult to take care of a baby. I can't imagine doing it at half my age.
I guess I'll take the cheap way out for ending and quote Forrest Gump: "That's all I have to say about that."

Planned?

I have always been pro-life; over the years I have refined my position. When I was in junior high, I had a crush on a boy in my class. I knew he was adopted, but it never hit home to me until he casually mentioned that his mother could have aborted him instead of giving him up for adoption. That first solidified my pro-life position.

When I was younger I thought it was not great, but marginally acceptable to abort a baby if the life of the mother was at risk. Then I met some wonderful people who proved that one can work to save the life of both mother and child is the best option, and let God determine the outcome.

Recently I was mortified by my doctor. I took a pregnancy test. She came in, told me that the results were positive, then asked if this was planned. This question caught me off guard, as I wasn't sure what to say. It was not a matter of consciously trying, so I responded that it was not planned. Her next question was, "Do you want to continue?" Um, excuse me? Talk about being caught off- guard! I was hard-pressed to avoid saying, "Well DUH!" Later, I did make a comment about when the Lord choooses to send a gift, it's His timing. I don't remember exactly how I said it, but that was the main point.

I have mentioned this to other women who said they've had similar experiences, although mostly when they were older and considered an "at-risk pregnancy." Another person told me that OB-Gyns in Minnesota are required by law to inform the woman that she has two options--continue or not.

This got me to thinking: How many pregnancies are truly planned? There are those pre- and extra-marital relationships which result in "unwanted" pregnancies; however, there are those instances inside the proper boundaries of marriage where a pregnancy isn't "planned". It happens. The marriage rite addresses procreation of children. Even the child's verse says, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." Laura Ingalls Wilder mentions in The First Four Years that Rose was not planned, yet even she knew that it comes with the territory. Yet today's doctors are required to tell women that if a baby is not planned, not obsessively anticipated, it doesn't have to be part of love and marriage.

It flows from our post-modern thinking, I guess. Marriage is being redefined. Sex is separated from marriage. Babies don't have to be an outcome of sex if anyone doesn't want them to be. It makes me quote Lost and Found: You see the kids are wild, we just can't tame them, do we have a right to blame them?
We've done our job well. Remove everything from its intended purpose and what's the result? I think we're seeing the answer.

"I Protest!" He Said Revoltingly

Warning: the statements you are about to read may be considered radical by those who are radical.
We wonder what kind of environment we will leave our children. We will leave them the environment we create for them.
The lesson is simple biology. There is a male and a female, they mate and produce offspring. Humans must be the exception to the rule. There are still male and female humans; it’s just mating and producing offspring aren’t what they used to be. In times past, humans married to make it official: the expectation was that only after this step was procreation acceptable. Sure, there were aberrations from the start—Lamech and his two wives, Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot and his daughters, Judah and his daughter-in-law, and the list goes on.
Yet what of our children? Society has created new rules for marriage. Don’t bother: move in together, try it out for a time. If you have kids, so what? If you plan to make it legal, you can always change your mind. There will be no fault, no blame, just a judge who will help you split the assets equitably.
These new marriage rules even fudge when it comes to male and female. That’s just a trifle. If you want to go male/male, female/female that’s fine. If you want some combination—well, that might be taking it a bit too far. . .for now. . .we have to have morals, after all.
Then there’s the whole mating part. Why wait for marriage since it’s outmoded anyway? Embrace your sexuality. We’re all to sexy for our [insert noun here], so if you got it, flaunt it. Email it. Kiss your date goodnight somewhere other than the lips on the first date, even if you are only a pre-teen who still thinks you can be Miley or Selena in a year or two. Experiment. Please your partner or significant other as necessary. If it feels good, do it, is our mantra. Spouses are so passé.
Don’t forget about the offspring part. We no longer need offspring on “baby come when ready” terms. If the baby comes when the mother or father is not ready, kill it. If the baby cries too much after it comes, shake it to death or drown it (this, ironically is still illegal in most states). If the baby doesn’t come, manufacture it in a test tube, Petri dish, and surrogate womb. It still does take two to tango, so if half of the components are not available the natural way, beg or borrow the necessary components. No thought of the children who have to accept that they may never know their paternal inseminator, maternal donor, or even the reality of their conception. How does one think a child will react to this when he is older? Children have many familial issues growing up to begin with. How might this effect them?
It seems to me that global warming and cooling are not the only environmental issues we need to consider when pondering our children’s future. More importantly, we need to consider the familial environment we want for them. We can’t connect the dots whichever way we desire, for our sake and theirs.

Fw:Fw:Schlock

Dear Family and Friends,

Please, Please, PLEASE! For the love of my sanity, do not forward me any more emails which contain the following line: "If you love Jesus, forward this to every heathen in your address book. If you loathe Jesus, please sit on your rear and do nothing or delete this immediately." I sincerely doubt that on the Last Day Jesus will ask me and all other believers, "Did you forward every single email about me?" I'm guessing that the separation between the sheep and the goats is not contingent upon such.

If you feel compelled to forward me such items, then at least delete the last line so that my pietistic works-righteous side (which feels compelled to forward every such email) can stay thoroughly squelched.

If you must foward me items rather than tell me information about what's going on in your life or inquiring about mine, please forward me funny things. I'll pass on the motherhood-and-apple-pie bandwith devourers.

I hope I have been forward with my requests. Lastly, do not, I repeat, DO NOT send me the story about the atheist professor and the chalk. I average it about twice a year and I've sent it to everyone. Thank you.

Orianna

P.S. Send this to every person in your address book, or I will send you the Amish virus.

Ecumenical Children

According to the news story, a local woman is considered the first female “Catholic” priestess to give birth. She gave birth to a boy on Wednesday. According to the story, she is part of the Ecumenical Catholic Communion (ECC), which is not recognized by the pope. I guess there is much Roman Catholic doctrine to which the ECC does not hold.
Incidentally, the priestess’ husband is a pastor at a United Church of Christ congregation, which makes their son truly ecumenical.

The Waiting Game

Listening to Issues, Etc., this question came up as a “teaser” for an open-line discussion. I pondered emailing my comment to the show, but it has grown beyond a comment into a blog.
It is true that the “marriage age” has been pushed back farther and farther. Consider Laura Ingalls Wilder who got married at 18, and that was about 125 years ago; in Shakespeare’s day it was even younger. In his play Romeo and Juliet, Juliet was only 13 when she married Romeo, although her father argues this point with Paris.
Capulet: But saying o’er what I have said before:
My child is yet a stranger in the world,
She hath not seen the change of fourteen years;
Let two more summers wither in their pride
Ere we may think her ripe to be a bride.
Paris: Younger than she are happy mothers made.
Capulet: And too soon marr’d are those so early made.
So let’s cut to the chase: Above all, Christian parents should encourage their children to marry responsibly and for life.
Why after college, like my mother encouraged me? Maybe the parents believe that their children can be better providers for their family with a college degree. The bachelor’s degree of today is nearly equivalent to the high school diploma of 50 or 60 years ago in terms of employment.
On the other hand, it could be that in our society today people view the job as the most important thing in a person’s life, not the family, and so a college degree is the status symbol, not a marriage. Consider again Laura Ingalls Wilder who had a job—she was a teacher, but hated teaching and hoped to marry so that she would not have to teach any more.
It does put teens and twenty-somethings in a situation of temptation. Waiting longer for marriage is harder when they are bombarded by sexual temptations every day. Is that the fault of the length of the educational system? No, it is the fault of the content of the educational system. The same system which encourages education at the highest level possible (get your bachelors’, master’s, doctorate) also encourages sex—see the posting at Opus—and discourages the nuclear family. Have sex, do what you want, but remember: pregnancy bad, abortion good; marriage bad if it holds you back, marriage good if you’re ready for that step (you can always divorce if he/she holds you back later). No wonder it’s a plethora of confusion.How does waiting to marry after college carry any more temptation for the person who has a significant other than a person who does not? You wait for marriage regardless of when that marriage happens, pure and simple. Christian parents will always encourage their children of that, reminding them that a spouse is a gift, not a right, whenever they are gifted.