Fw:Fw:Schlock

Dear Family and Friends,

Please, Please, PLEASE! For the love of my sanity, do not forward me any more emails which contain the following line: "If you love Jesus, forward this to every heathen in your address book. If you loathe Jesus, please sit on your rear and do nothing or delete this immediately." I sincerely doubt that on the Last Day Jesus will ask me and all other believers, "Did you forward every single email about me?" I'm guessing that the separation between the sheep and the goats is not contingent upon such.

If you feel compelled to forward me such items, then at least delete the last line so that my pietistic works-righteous side (which feels compelled to forward every such email) can stay thoroughly squelched.

If you must foward me items rather than tell me information about what's going on in your life or inquiring about mine, please forward me funny things. I'll pass on the motherhood-and-apple-pie bandwith devourers.

I hope I have been forward with my requests. Lastly, do not, I repeat, DO NOT send me the story about the atheist professor and the chalk. I average it about twice a year and I've sent it to everyone. Thank you.

Orianna

P.S. Send this to every person in your address book, or I will send you the Amish virus.